Posted by chicagomedia.org on April 03, 2009 at 11:55:36:
'You get the fighting, the fun and no sex'
HIGH-WATTAGE PARTNERS | US99 duo airs 'work spouse' issues in public
April 3, 2009
BY MIKE THOMAS
Male-female radio teams -- like the ones we're profiling this week -- are especially attuned to the so-called "work spouse" phenomenon. They occupy the same small space for hours on end, day after day, as platonic partners who share bonds similar to marriage (but without the romance). Many offices have such pairings -- in one survey of 575 employees by vault.com, 23 percent said they had a "work husband" or a "work wife." Unlike typical work spouses, however, these duos live out their relationship before hundreds of thousands of listeners. Such intensely public cohabitation has its benefits and burdens.
Whether in their narrow shared office or the confines of a radio studio, Lisa Dent and "Ramblin' " Ray Stevens can't escape each other. Nor do they necessarily want to.
But once they part, there's typically no talking until early the next morning, shortly before their show airs on country station WUSN-FM (99.5), or US99.
That regular separation helps keep their union strong.
"I guess what brings us together is that we don't have to be together once we leave here," Dent says. "And if there's one thing that Ray and I have in common, it's that we are fiercely protective of our personal lives and making sure that we live every moment as we want."
When they're working, Stevens says, everything comes naturally -- as it should.
"Relationships would fail and work relationships would fail if you had to worry about dancing that hard. ... There's an old saying in this business that says, 'You can't create chemistry.' And I believe that. If Lisa and I didn't like working with each other, trust me, we wouldn't be working with each other. Just like if you don't like being married with somebody, you gotta do something about it."
Stevens, 38, has been married to his second wife, Gina Stejskal, for 12 years. Dent -- who'd rather not reveal her age -- was divorced in January 2008, but shares custody of her 7-year-old son. Although the split with her husband of more than two decades was amicable and she still sees him frequently, "Ray has kind of become my muscle. Ray's my go-to guy for stuff.
"I'm looking at buying a house, and my ex-husband's already gone through the house," Dent says, "but I need Ray to go through the house, too, because he's got guys who can help me do construction. And so in those types of things, Ray's like my second husband. Or I guess I don't have a husband, so (speaking to Ray) you're my radio husband. You're my work spouse."
Adds Stevens, a former construction worker, "You get the fighting, the fun and no sex." He and Dent both laugh. "Just like home!"
These days, Stejskal removes herself from Stevens' radio world more than in the past. They have two young kids at home (Stevens' 14-year-old daughter from his first marriage lives elsewhere) who consume the majority of her time.
In Dent, Stejskal says, she has an ally -- someone who reinforces her viewpoints and sides with her in arguments.
"I think [Ray] working with a female helps to point out some of the things that I try to say that he doesn't always believe or doesn't always understand," she says.
That Dent sometimes has better luck getting through to Stevens is "because he figures I'm just half-crazy half the time," Stejskal half-jokes. "I've either got my opinion on something and it's not changing, and if she chimes in and agrees, at least there's two of us saying the same thing. So that does help my plight a little bit."
Stevens claims to appreciate the insight he gleans from his female cohorts, who include the show's producer, Lisa Kosty.
"Being around strong women, you kind of understand [that] what they tell you and what they think, you can apply to your life," he says. "And it will help you. Guys, if you're working with women, man, that's the key. Listen to 'em."
Stevens concedes that Stejskal "probably wishes I'd communicate with her the way I communicate with Lisa."
Like any comfortable and compatible couple, Stevens and Dent playfully needle each other on the air and off.
Lisa: "Ray is the only person in the CBS Corp. who has a check handed to him. He won't have direct deposit."
Ray: "I'm old school. I like to go to the bank. The women at the bank, they're cute, they're nice to talk to."
Lisa: "Really? It's not about how much Gina thinks you make?"
Ray: "You need to hide money every now and then. Guy's gotta have a stash."
Of course, things aren't always rosy. But rough patches, they say, are quickly smoothed.
"We've given each other the silent treatment," Dent says. "But you know how they always say that married couples [shouldn't] go to bed mad? Well, we don't do radio mad."
(Chicago Sun-Times)